Jesus called Himself the Good Shepherd. I’d like to look at that for a moment. What makes a shepherd a good shepherd? Well, for one thing, a good shepherd has fine-tuned his ears to hear and interpret bleating. And all of us sheep down here are going to do some bleating.

How good was this Good Shepherd at hearing bleating? Let me give you an example…

On the northwest shore of the Sea of Galilee, there was a fishing village called Capernaum, where Jesus performed so many of His exquisite miracles during His earthly ministry. Approximately 25 miles away (as the crow flies) to the south was a little city called Nain. After a day of teaching among the multitudes, and healing the centurion’s servant in Capernaum (Luke 7: 1-10), Jesus headed out of town towards Nain. As I read the sacred text, it appears to me that Jesus had to hurry to get to this little city because the scriptures tell us that He arrived there by “the day after” (Luke 7: 11), meaning: before that next day’s end. And what would be the cause for Him to hurry to get to Nain? Well, one of His sheep was about to face some real heartache and loss—a certain widow, on that next day, would experience the death of her only son, and before evening would be following the funeral procession towards his burial. It was customary for the Jews to bury someone within 24 hours of their death. Therefore, due to the timing of these events, I can’t help but wonder if Jesus knew on that previous day that the widow’s son was going to die, and so He started His journey to get there in time…either that, or He just felt compelled by the Spirit of His Father, which was in Him, to make the trip in haste. And it was a demanding trek. Jesus had to march from Capernaum, which is almost 700 feet below sea level, and climb around the mountains that border the southwest of the Sea of Galilee, make a detour around Mt. Tabor, and get to Nain in time to meet the procession that next day! Having been to Capernaum, myself, and having seen the steep terrain on the western slopes of Galilee and the less than straight road, it is certain that 30, 35, or maybe even 40 miles was more accurate to the distance traveled; and due to the climb in elevation, it would have taken longer than on flat ground. Averaging between three and four miles an hour—which is a pretty quick and steady pace—that’s ten to twelve hours of walking! Therefore, it appears to me that Jesus knew He had to hurry to get to wherever it was He was going. Was He spiritually aware of this woman, and her son? While the scriptures do not tell us one way or the other, it is clear to me that He had to be moving quite rapidly to even make it to Nain in the time given.

These are the kinds of things I like to think about and imagine when it comes to the life of our Lord—what the particulars of the circumstances might have been. In my mind, I can picture Jesus walking briskly, the apostles trying to keep up, and a host of others…“many of his disciples went with him, and much people” (Luke 7: 11). I can imagine a committed Peter right at Jesus’ heels. Perhaps one of the younger apostles hurries up from the back of the group and asks Peter: “Where is the Master headed in such a hurry?” I can almost hear Peter’s reply: “I don’t know, but I don’t want to miss it!”

Whatever the factual particulars of the event are, the truth is certain: 25 miles isn’t too far away for this Good Shepherd to hear bleating. 25 million light years isn’t too far away! Wherever He may happen to be in His universe, it is not too far away for Him to hear and interpret your or my heart-cry.

And, we must also remember, He is not resting stationary on His Father’s throne waiting for us to find our own way back to heaven. If His life is now anything like it was when He lived in mortality, He spends most of His time right here, among us, out in search of sinners…looking for a lost sheep…“until He find it” (Luke 15: 4).

“I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep….and I lay down my life for the sheep….Therefore doth my Father love me” (John 10: 14-17).

He is the Good Shepherd indeed! Not just in general terms…but in the small and varying particulars of the individual lives of His flock. One of these was a widow in Nain, some two thousand years ago, whose heart-cry rang out in anguish, reverberating through the canyons and across the grass-covered hills of the Galilee. Her Good Shepherd heard the cry, and He did not fail her!

These will be the last two stories in this series of posts regarding those who witnessed the Savior that I will share. Next week I will follow up with some concluding thoughts.

Young boy from Utah
This boy was born with a genetic condition causing the muscles of the body to gradually get weaker. Because of this he had never walked but had spent all of his life confined to a wheelchair and in constant pain and discomfort. His pain was not just physical, but emotional as well. He had a very hard time watching other children his age do things he could not do. He felt very left out and alone. Because of his condition he developed severe scoliosis and a surgery was performed to straighten his spine by putting rods in his back. These rods would then be lengthened every six months, as he grew, so that he could grow like other boys and his lungs could expand. Surgeries were also performed to cut the tendons in his hips and knees so that his legs would straighten. The down side to all of this was the constant pain of having rods in his back, daily physical therapy for his legs, and surgeries twice a year until his body was fully grown, at which time permanent rods would be inserted. He had a lot of bad days and sad days wondering why he was born and why he had to go through all of this pain. He always knew to whom he could turn and he developed a great love for his heavenly Father and Savior. Once, when he was about nine or ten-years-old, he had the following experience:

“I was having a bad day and I wanted to go and pray! When I was in bed I said my prayers and told Heavenly Father my feelings. A couple of hours later, I saw a huge bright light—it was so bright…the whole room lit up—and I knew that it was Jesus. He called me by name and said to me that it was okay and that I would be with them soon. He then told me that when I would die that I would see a bright light and I was to go to that light and that someone would be there to meet me. I felt happy and the Spirit was so strong. When He spoke to me I did not see His lips moving but I heard His voice in my mind and my heart. I felt his words. His voice felt soft, really comfortable in my heart. I felt so good. It was incredible!

“I remember being kind of confused at first. It’s a really slim chance that someone gets to meet Jesus in this life. It was fascinating that this slim chance had happened to me.”

Teenage boy from Arizona
“When I was growing up I did not have a good childhood. My father was quite abusive on many levels and there were many times I wanted out! I prayed often for relief, for an end to it all.

“I was a good kid but I wasn’t perfect. I tried to do what was right but I could have been better. I loved the Lord and loved learning about the gospel. But an experience I had changed me. One night, when I was about fifteen-years-old, as I slept I remember finding myself in a room that was pure white. There were others in the room besides me and all were dressed in white robes. I did not see their faces but we were all standing waiting for something. It was then that a being entered the room, and although I did not see His face, I knew instantly by the power of the Spirit that this was the Savior. His spirit was so strong that we all fell to our knees. I will never forget that feeling! As I knelt He came by me and, touching me on the shoulder, asked me to stand. I stood, His arm around my back with His hand on my right shoulder. He then asked me a question, a question I will never forget. It was so simple, and yet, so powerful, so profound. It has changed my life. He simply asked, in a kind, loving, and soft voice, ‘What have you done?’ It was asked in a voice filled with love…no anger, no judgment, no harshness, simply love. I felt how much He loved me. Everything I had done to that point filled my mind. All things, both good and bad. All of my life, to that point, passed before my eyes in one second. It was as if He was asking me to remember all the good and bad I had ever done or thought so that I could be better! No hint of condemnation, just love! It was then that I woke up. The spirit was so strong that I could not move for several minutes. I felt weak. I didn’t want to move for fear that the feeling would go away. After a few minutes I regained my strength but the power of His voice and the power of His question has never left me.

“This experience has had a profound impact on me. It has been a source of strength and comfort to me over the years because I know that the Savior lives. I know it. As I breathe I know it. And even though there have been many hard and difficult times in my life, times that I have wanted to quit and give up, I knew that I never could because I know, as the sun rises, that He lives. I cannot and will never forget the feel of His arm around me and the love I felt in a sacred place when I heard Him speak my name and when I felt of His love. When the scriptures say that ‘God is love,’ I testify that it is true.”

(to be concluded next week…)

Jeff Olsen

This week, as a follow-up to last week’s post, I am choosing to share another part of Jeff’s book, with his permission. And while it may be a little long for a blog post, it is one of the most touching, enlightening experiences I have ever read. You’ll remember that Jeff’s wife, Tamara, and their one-year-old baby son, Griffin, had been killed in the car accident that brought Jeff to the hospital and resulted in him losing one of his legs. Well, just after the accident, while Jeff’s body was still in the mangled vehicle, Jeff’s spirit had gone to the other side of the veil and had a tender, emotionally charged conversation with Tamara’s spirit. Now, about four months later, Jeff’s hospital stay was nearing an end.

JEFF OLSEN (part 2)
“…I would be returning home soon….I was off my medications, and my body had mended in miraculous ways. As [my brother, who was visiting me, and I] talked, I became tired and soon faded off into a deep sleep. It was more peaceful than most nights. I felt calm, comfortable, and free of pain. As I slept, I dreamed again. But this was a real and vivid dream. I found myself in that place again, that place of love, light, and peace where I had said good-bye to Tamara right after the accident. I knew this place like no other. The feeling was so overwhelmingly joyful….

“….I was alone this time. No one came to greet me or guide me, and I marveled at the indescribable beauty around me. It was vast and open and beautiful. I could feel, touch, and taste everything as if I had not five but fifty senses. It was amazing.

“As I walked, on two healthy strong legs, I entered into a long hallway. It was a lovely corridor that seemed to stretch forward almost into eternity, yet I moved down it rapidly and with ease. I saw where it came to a stop, and at the end of the hallway was a baby crib. I rushed to the crib, and peeking in, saw something beyond joyful.

“There lying in the crib was my son. It was little Griffin! He was alive and well. He slept peacefully. I looked at him and took in every detail. How his chubby little hands lay so peacefully beside his perfect face. How his mouth drew breath, raising his small back up and down. How is hair lay gently across the tops of his ears. I reached into the crib and swept him up into my arms. I could feel the warmth from his little body. I could feel his breath on my neck and the smell of his delicate hair. He was so familiar and so alive! I held him close and cried tears of joy as I laid my cheek against his soft little head as we had always done. I felt him breathing as he snuggled into me. His ribs rising and falling with each inhale and exhale. Not only did I feel him physically, but I also felt him spiritually. Every cell of his perfect little body was full of light and life. I felt the energy of his soul and how connected we were. I was his dad. I had taken part in creating him. He was perfect.

“It was Griffin! He was alive, and I was with him, holding him in this wonderful place. It was real, even super real. I had never felt anything so intense. We were tangible. I could feel his body solidly against mine. I felt the life in each of my own cells as they melted together with his in a love exceeding our earthly bond.

“I sobbed with joy, holding my little son. I closed my tear-filled eyes and breathed in how he smelled and how he felt and how everything seemed to disappear except us. I simply held him, basking in the moment, and as I did, I felt something or someone move up behind me. The feeling coming from this being was so powerful and yet so loving that it almost startled me. I felt light and love engulf me. I knew I was standing in the presence of someone so eternal and so powerful, yet so personal.

“I did not dare turn around to look. I stood there holding my son, taking in the intense feeling. The being behind me had so much light, so much love, and so much power. I knew I was in the presence of God. Still, I did not turn around. I stood there holding Griffin and feeling the overwhelming love of a Father standing behind me. I could feel His everlasting, unconditional love. It was as real as the love I felt for my own little son.

“Slowly, this magnificent, divine being of light stepped closer, so close that I could feel His light surround us. His wisdom was overwhelming. I felt His physical presence in the same way I was feeling Griffin. Every cell of my body filled with truth and knowledge beyond anything I’d ever felt before. As I held my son, this beautiful being, filled with the wisdom of eternity, moved close enough to hold me. I was standing there holding my son and being embraced myself by deity. He leaned into me and whispered into my ear. His voice, though a whisper, was powerful. Not only did I hear it, I felt it through my entire being. He told me things I do not have the words to write and could never do justice to even if I did. I learned more in that brief encounter than I could have been taught in many lifetimes. And yet it didn’t feel like learning. It was more like remembering. I knew this as it flowed through me. I saw purpose in every event of my entire life. I saw how every circumstance had been divinely provided for my learning and development. I had the realization that I had actually taken part in creating every experience of my life. I knew I had come to this earth for only one reason, which was to learn, and that everything that had ever happened to me had been a loving step in that process of my progression. Every person, every circumstance, and every incident was custom created for me. It was as if the entire universe existed for my higher good and development. I felt so loved, so cherished, and so honored. I realized that not only was I being embraced by deity, but also that I myself was divine, and that we all are. I knew that there are no accidents in this life….Yet we always get to choose how we will experience what happens to us here.

“I could exercise my will in everything, even in how I felt about the wreck and the death of my family members. God didn’t want me to hurt and feel put upon as if my son and wife had been taken from me. He was simply there assisting me to decide how I was going to experience it. He was providing me with the opportunity, in perfect love, to exercise my personal agency in this entire situation.

“I knew my wife and son were gone. They had died months earlier, but time didn’t exist where I was at that moment. Rather than having them ripped away from me, I was being given the opportunity to actually hand them over to God. To let them go in peace, love, and gratitude. Everything suddenly made sense. Everything had divine order. I could give my son to God and not have him taken away from me.

“I felt my power…to literally let go of all that had happened to me. I held my baby son as God Himself held me. I experienced the oneness of all of it. Time did not matter. Only love and order existed. Tamara and Griffin had come into my life as perfect teachers. And in leaving me in such a way, they continued as perfect teachers to bring me to that point of remembering who I was. Remembering that I was created in God’s image and actually came from Him. I was aware now that I could actually walk with God, empowered by what I was learning in my life. I felt the divine energy of the being behind me inviting me to let it all go and give Griffin to Him. In all that peace and knowledge, I hugged my little boy tightly one last time, kissed him on the cheek, and gently laid him back down in the crib. I willingly gave him up. No one would ever take him away from me again. He was mine. We were one, and I was one with God.

“As soon as I breathed in all that peace, I awoke, back into the…darkness of my hospital bed, but with greater perspective. I marveled at what I had just experienced. It was not just a dream. It felt too real. It was real to me….Griffin was alive in a place more real than anything here. And Tamara was there with him. I knew it.

“As the years have passed, I’ve often wondered how I could have put my son back in the crib the way I did. Maybe I should have held on and never let go. But in that place, it all made sense.

“I realized that no one ever really dies. We always live on. I had experienced a God as real and tangible as we are. He knows our every heartache, yet allows us to experience and endure them for our growth. His is the highest form of love; He allows us to become what we will….

“My experience showed me purpose and order. I knew there was a master plan far greater than my limited earthly vision. I also learned that my choices were mine alone to make. I got to decide how I felt, and that made all the difference in the universe. Even in this tragedy, I got to determine the outcome. I could choose to be a victim of what had happened or create something far greater” (I Knew Their Hearts, [Cedar Fort, Inc, 2012], pp. 84-88).

(to be continued…)

SPENCER from Utah
“The following vision….was not a dream. I was not ‘seeing’ it, but rather was present in the vision, experiencing it with my five senses….It was…real to me, and…difficult to tell if I was…out of my body or experiencing it in the flesh.

“It was about 4:00 a.m. by the time I got to bed that night. I had been completing some important work and had lost track of time. I was exhausted as I lay down after saying my prayers, and I fell into a deep sleep.

“My first recollection was that I was hurrying from the parking lot toward a stake center where I had been assigned to speak. It was the same building I attended every Sunday for years. In my mind I was late for a leadership meeting and was therefore rushing into the building. I was halfway up the walk on the backside of the church when I heard, ‘Spencer.’

“The voice was familiar to me, and I turned around to see who had spoken my name. I was astonished to see Jesus Christ standing in the parking lot where the sidewalk begins. I knew His face. I had never before seen Him in mortality, yet I knew Him. His face is the most familiar face in the universe. My spirit instantly knew Him, remembered Him, and loved Him. I remembered everything about Him, everything He has done for me.

“It felt to my soul as if I was seeing my most beloved friend for the first time after decades of absence. I felt my heart racing in my chest. He did not introduce Himself because I recognized Him immediately. He communicated with me verbally, but every word He spoke was rich with non-verbal truth that entered my soul far faster than words.

“He was wearing a vibrant red robe that hung across His right shoulder, and was tied up with a clasp on His left shoulder. He wore a cloth belt of the same color about his waist. The robe hung to his ankles and hands and had long sleeves. He wore old-time sandals on his feet.

“He was tall, possibly a little over six feet. His form was masculine. He had a sturdy build with big shoulders and strong limbs. His face was not thin, as is depicted in some paintings, but full with high cheekbones. He had a dark beard that was closely trimmed. His hair was the color of His beard, and was long enough to touch His shoulders. His eyes were the most beautiful and clearest blue one can imagine.

“He smiled at me, and I dropped my briefcase and ran to Him. His arms engulfed me. I can’t find words to explain how it felt to be embraced by Him. A flood of memories returned of being comfortable in His arms long before. I felt His love for me radiating from Him. I knew by instinct that He knew everything about me, yet there was no sense of judgment. I felt from him a complete sense of His confidence in me and in my capacity. It was amazing to me, because I have never had a lot of confidence in myself.

“I did not look for the marks in His hands and feet. I don’t know why I didn’t look, even today. I remember thinking later that day, why didn’t I look? Perhaps it was because I did not need to see His wounds to know it was Him. I was so taken by His love, power radiance, unlimited capacity, vast knowledge, and perfections that it never entered my mind to look.

“His feet were not on the ground. I was surprised how He could hold me with such firmness. He was standing—not floating—but He was not standing upon our mortal world. He was not occupying the same space that I was on this planet. In that space that He was occupying, everything was radiating from Him, as if He were the sun and everything rotated around Him and came from Him.

“His face was welcoming, smiling, pleased to be with me. It felt like we had embraced like this often before, which surprised me. My family is not ‘huggy,’ and I had never learned to enjoy long or emotional hugging. Yet in this embrace, I wished it could go on forever. After a long while He put His hands on my shoulders and pushed me gently to arm’s length.

“He looked me in the eye and told me He was pleased with my life thus far. He thanked me earnestly for my service in His name….He told me that He loved me, and that from this time forward I would do much good for the Kingdom. He paused for a second, then added that the righteous desire of my heart would be granted. I knew exactly which desire He meant. It was my great desire that I truly would rise to endure my future trials well and thereby be purified….

“He again said, ‘Spencer,’ and for a moment I saw myself as He sees me and knew myself as He knows me….In that moment He spoke my name I was given to see and feel the full meaning of my name to Him. It melted my heart and still does to this day every time I think of how He said my name. The love He bestowed upon me in that one word cannot be described in any mortal language.

“So, when I read….of the first vision and hear ‘Joseph, this is my beloved Son,’ I wish everyone could know what young Joseph experienced when he heard the Lord say his name. Because when you hear your name from the lips of our Savior, you never again hear your name the same way—ever….

“He nodded toward the stake center and said, ‘You are needed. You need to go to your assignment.’ I took a step back, still looking at Him, wishing I did not have to leave, but He had instructed me to go, and I turned and took a few steps away. I stopped and turned back. He again spoke my name, and I was again engulfed in love and tears. As I watched, He began to fade slowly, then He was gone.

“I immediately became aware of my bed and bedroom. I was weeping openly, joyfully, in a way I had never before experienced” (Visions of Glory, John M. Pontius, [Cedar Fort, Inc, 2012], pp. 57-60).

(to be continued…)

This week, as a follow-up to last week’s post, I choose to share a few more of Elane Durham’s words about her experience while she was in the presence of Christ. What she learned from the Savior feels very useful to me in how I view myself and others, and I hope it will therefore be useful to you.

ELANE DURHAM (part 2)
“In [the] context [of being completely forgiven by the Lord] I was made aware that Christ knew and understood every single aspect of the incestuous abuse perpetrated upon me by my father. Yet I not only felt my Redeemer’s complete love and acceptance of me in spite of this, for I could finally see absolutely that it had not been my fault—but I was also allowed to feel His unconditional love for my father, which gave me great peace.

“I do not mean to imply that my father’s actions toward me were excused, for I knew they were not. In fact they were terrible sins for which he was absolutely accountable, and which he will one day need to acknowledge and deal with before he can have any sort of eternal peace such as I was then experiencing. But still Christ loved him perfectly, and I knew that through the power of that love my dad, if he chose, could one day be redeemed.

“In connection with that, for years I had felt tremendous guilt over my inability to get along with my mother. But now Christ allowed me to see how the estrangement between us had never been of my making, or by my choice. I was shown how my mother had been raised under the firm, Victorian hand of my grandmother, who had never taught her how to show or give love. I also saw how Mom, who had been two years old when her own father had died, had been pretty much fed and clothed and ‘cared for’ by her older siblings, and that two of them—brothers—had molested her. Thus she, like myself, had gone through abuse that was not of her own making, and had carried great shame and guilt through her own life. And oh, how my heart went out to her when I was given the knowledge of that.

“Again, however, accountability entered into this, for although Mother was in no way accountable for what had been done to her, she nevertheless carried the burden of her own choices, her own actions, just as I had done. In other words, she was accountable for what she had done to me. And like my father, to experience the peace I was then experiencing she would need to turn to Christ and work through her sins and mistakes.

“I had also felt like a failure because of the breakup of my marriage to my abusive first husband. But now, encircled in Christ’s love, I saw this man in a whole new light, and my guilt was erased as I came to realize that nothing I could have done would have saved that marriage. The man himself, I saw, had been severely abused by his alcoholic father. Thus, in his adulthood he was re-enacting the same sorts of things his father had done to him, seeking always [to have] the control that had been denied him as a child. And no matter what I would have done, or how I might have behaved, it would not have stopped his own headlong rush toward destruction.

“Seeing these things and events gave me understanding, and they also healed my pain by allowing me to forgive those who had been unjust with me. Here I had been feeling shame and guilt for things that I had no control over. But when Christ spoke to me telling me that these events I had felt so heavy-hearted over were not of my own making, but were instead the results of how I had been raised and the society that I had lived in, I was able to understand His words completely. And though by no means had I lived a perfect life, I knew that my sins and mistakes had been forgiven, and could not, therefore, keep me away from God’s love.

“[In fact,] He loved me regardless of them, and beyond that, regardless of what I had ever hoped to be or do….

“’What have you done for your fellow man?’ Christ asked again….

“I knew then that the Savior wanted me to understand that His question had to do, not with worldly things, but with how much honest and sincere love I had given to others, especially when it was hard for me to love them….

“…I knew of His desire that I become as Him. That was why He had asked twice, ‘What have you done for your fellow man?’ He showed me through His own life and atonement that everything about our lives, on earth as well as in the premortal realms…had to do with our relationships with others….

“[And] if I have assisted others in any way by making their lives better, even for a moment…then I will be rewarded with…spiritual power and…become more Christ-like.

“…I realized that I learn to love others through serving them….[Christ] had served me perfectly by willingly suffering and even joyfully giving His own life in my behalf, with no one but God to reward Him for it….

“…we are all children of our Father in Heaven, sisters and brothers, and because of that relationship [we each] hold a responsibility for everyone else. Individuals who understand this use their spiritual and physical gifts to bless and give comfort to the lives of everyone around them” (I Stand All Amazed, [Granite Publishing, 1998], pp. 33-46).

(to be continued…)

ELANE DURHAM
In the middle of an October night in Chicago, Elane Durham suffered her first seizure, which was caused by the rupture of an unknown tumor in her brain. Over the course of the next hour, Elane would have ten more seizures while being transported to the hospital and while in the ER. She was experiencing ventricular fibrillation, where her heart was fluttering instead of beating. This starved her brain for oxygen, which increased the seizures. The seizures would in turn prevent Elane from breathing, which starved her heart for oxygen, and which increased the ventricular fibrillation. She was in a vicious cycle that was quickly leading to her death. Elane tells us:

“Then my spirit was free of my body, and I felt myself lifting.

“…I…knew a ‘part of me’ was being left on the gurney, but at that moment I felt a great indifference toward it….

“In fact, I felt more alive than I could ever remember feeling. I now had expanded senses, and I could see things so very clearly!….

“…I saw a bright light in the distance….My spirit lifted and somehow rose toward this beacon which was emanating rays through its halos, though I had no idea of how I was moving….

“Looking upward…I realized that the light was traveling toward me just as I was moving toward it, and it was moving at a great speed. As we came closer together…I realized that there was a personality to this light. I also felt an immense love from it, a different kind of love than I had ever felt before, love that was completely overwhelming. And wonder of all wonders, I knew that I was being welcomed to come closer….

“As I got closer to the light I heard a voice—but…not with my ears alone. It was as if everything that I was, every particle of my being, was absorbing what I heard. I not only heard the voice, but I felt it as He spoke to me saying, ‘Through me you have Eternal Life.’….

“In awe I drew nearer…until I saw in the light’s core the outline of a Man—a glorious Being apparently made of light that seemed more golden in color than the radiance that shown all about Him. And though I thought of Him as light, He certainly had all the physical aspects and substance of a man. I saw His hands, His arms, His body, His neck, His head—I even noted His facial characteristics, though I am at a loss to describe them now. Yet withal He was a Being of power and glorious light so incredible that I could not really comprehend Him.

“But I do remember His eyes! They were so clear and bright—yet there was color to them—a beautiful blue color outlined in deeper blue that made me think of the color of the distant ocean on a clear day. But it wasn’t so much the color of His eyes as it was the power in them that awed me. Those fathomless eyes penetrated my very soul. They knew me beyond anything I was ever capable of knowing about myself—and to my absolute and dumbfounded amazement, still He loved me….

“I knew then that I had been with Him before, for I absolutely recognized Him. I knew that I had dwelt, with my same exact identity, in an eternal life or existence prior to my mortal life, and in that existence I had come to know this glorious Being thoroughly and even intimately. That is both why and how I knew that the voice I had heard and felt, as well as the Being I was now gazing upon, was…the Lord Jesus Christ.

“But that sure and certain knowledge of who Christ was, completely humbled me. I had always thought of myself as unworthy of any sort of communication with God, and yet here I was, being drawn into His presence. Even while it was happening I found myself struggling to believe, to comprehend that it was happening to me….

“’What have you done for your fellow man?’ He asked me then with His wordless communication, and instantly my entire life was before my eyes. It wasn’t like I was seeing a movie, with scenes laid out in sequence. Instead it was somehow all at once, so that many different aspects of my life were laid out for me to see and contemplate all in the same instant. And in that same instant I chose, because of all the trauma and abuse I had experienced, to focus on every incident for which I felt guilt and shame. These, I was certain, would cause Him to release me and turn away from me.

“But no, that didn’t happen. Instead He told me that every single aspect of my guilt and shame had either been forgiven by Him already because of my repentance, or had come about because of how I had been raised or treated, and had not, therefore, been of my choice. As I struggled to understand this He reminded me that I had never turned my back on God, but had daily sought Him, begging for forgiveness for the sins I had committed, and pleading for His presence in my life. Now, I realized abruptly, those prayers and pleadings were being answered.

“And then, wonder of all wonders, and in direct confirmation of His words, Christ raised His hand and somehow brought me instantly and completely into the light of His glory.

“…With incredible tenderness He made me part of His eternal presence…and I felt a perfect joy such as I’ve never known, either before or since. I knew that my Lord knew me…and yet despite what He knew of me He loved me infinitely more than I could comprehend….

“Being encircled within His love I was able, for the first time in my life, to completely forgive myself. I had to, for I could not in any way oppose how Christ felt about me. Unconditionally I was loved, completely had I been forgiven, and perfectly was I understood. And…I was able to feel the same way about myself as He did” (Elane Durham, I Stand All Amazed, [Granite Publishing, 1998], pp. 15-33).

(to be continued…)

MIKE from Utah
When Mike was about nine years old, he went on a weekend hunting trip with a seventeen-year-old neighbor boy, and two adults. On Saturday morning they hiked up to a ridge in the mountains until they came to a cliff, then climbed around on the back side until they reached the summit. After having lunch, the adults told the boys to wait there, and then left to go exploring. After an hour, the boys became impatient, and the seventeen-year-old left, leaving young Mike there alone. Mike said:

“It was a cold fall day, and the afternoon was getting late. I shouted to see if anyone would answer. There was no response, so I decided to go back the way I came. Our vehicles were just below the ridge.

“Leaving the ridge in the direction I thought would take me down, I soon found myself on the edge of the cliff. A small draw appeared to offer a way to get down, so I started to climb down it. Jumping off a large rock, I landed on a crevice that became a dead end. I couldn’t go forward, and the rock I had jumped off was too high for me to climb back up.

“Stretching to reach the top of the rock, I grabbed something and lifted—it gave way and I fell. My fall down the cliff was about 250 feet. There was no feel when I landed; I don’t remember the fall or when I landed.

“The next thing I knew I was standing looking at myself on the ground. It was dark outside and starting to snow…and it was a strange scene as I tried to contemplate what had happened to me. The really peculiar thing was that while I could see my body lying on the ground, I…the real I, was standing with my feet about six inches off the ground.

“There was a sense of floating, and the realization came that I must be dead….I leaned close to my body and reached out to touch it. My hand, and it was a hand, went right through my body lying on the ground. It was a shock.

“Suddenly I felt myself being drawn into the sky. The stars went by until there were no more; then I entered a tunnel of light and my speed seemed to accelerate. Eventually I cam to a black void—there was no light at all. Wondering what was happening, I put my hand in front of my face, but I could see nothing.

“While I was in this black void….I could hear the people that I had gone hunting with calling me. It was very strange. I knew I had left the earth, yet I could hear them calling my name.

“Coming out of nowhere, while I was puzzling the whole situation, a giant cone of light appeared. It was off in the distance, and I started going toward it. During this whole period I continued to hear my friends calling me, but since I didn’t know where they were I kept moving to the light.

“Something in the light seemed more important to me than anything else….more important than my friends calling me. I was drawn to it.

“When I reached the edge of the light, I could see the shape of a human in it. A man in the light reached out his hand, and I reached to touch him. Upon touching him, I knew immediately who He was. The confusion that I had felt, and every fear, left me.

“This wonderful Being called me by a name, not my earthly name, but some other name. I knew He was addressing me, but it was not a name that I had been called while on earth. I have since forgotten it.

“The Being urged me to enter the light, and He said: ‘Come, I want to show you something.’ He took me up, and we went to another place, a different world bathed in light. Located in a large field was an enormous and beautiful gate. It had jewels on it and it was of a shining golden color. My Guide pointed at it and said: ‘That is the gate to heaven.’

“Next, the Being said: ‘It is not your time, yet, to be here. You must go back.’

“I knew it was the Lord I was with, and I begged to say with Him. He again told me that I had to return. So I asked Him why. His startling declaration was: ‘I’ll show you why.’

“Five figures appeared before me in a bright light. The Lord let me know that one of the figures was I, as an adult; a second figure was my wife, and three smaller figures were my children. I was told by the Lord that one of my future children would perform significant service for Him, and I had to go back so that His purposes could be fulfilled.

“That was the end of the experience. The Lord took me by the hand and brought me back.

“When I regained consciousness, it was morning. It was hard to walk, but I scooted down the hill….The Search and Rescue team had been looking for me….When they got to me they put me on a stretcher and took me to the hospital….

“[Now, about Jesus]…He was in a white robe, He was transparent, and He was very bright….There was an overpowering love coming from Him to me….There is no experience in life that can duplicate what I experienced there in His presence….the love and the comfort that He gave. He was radiantly beautiful….He showed me the nail prints in his hands….They were on his wrists….There was music, and there were angels….thousands of angels, dressed in white robes….They were kneeling down with their arms outstretched, and they were singing….

“When [I was] told to go back, [I] didn’t…want to go….As far as me missing my mom, or my friends, or my dad, that didn’t seem to matter. Nothing could replace the feeling that I had when I was with [Jesus], and I didn’t want to leave” (Journeys Beyond Life, compiled by Arvin S. Gibson, [Horizon Publishers, 1994], pp. 32-38).

(to be continued…)

MARSHALL from Utah
Marshall had a massive heart attack, and then later described what happened to him as a spirit-guide took him on a journey:

“…I found myself walking in a completely different sphere. It was beautiful beyond description and we were walking on a path….It was a different world than this one….As we walked along the path I noticed a profusion of flowers and trees. They were of a wider variety, and they had many more colors than on earth—or maybe it was that I could see more colors than on earth, I’m not sure.

“I noticed someone on the path ahead of us. As we got closer to the individual I could see and feel that he was a magnificent person. I felt overwhelmed as I looked at him. He was bathed in light. [My guide] asked if I knew who [he] was, and I answered yes. It was Jesus Christ.

“When we got close to the Savior, I felt a tremendous love emanating from Him. It’s hard to describe, but you could feel it all around Him. And I felt a similar enormous love for Him. I fell at His feet—not because I thought about it, but I couldn’t stand. I felt an overpowering urge to fall at His feet and worship Him.

“…As I knelt there at the feet of this marvelous being I became conscious of my past life being reviewed for me. It seemed to occur in a short period, and I felt the Savior’s love during the entire process. That love was…well, it was everywhere. And it was as if we could communicate with each other without speaking. After a period the Savior reached down and I knew I should stand. As soon as I stood, He left.

“[My guide] next led me to a city. It was a city of light. It was similar to cities on earth in that there were buildings and paths, but the buildings and paths appeared to be built of materials which we consider precious on earth. They looked like marble, and gold, and silver, and other bright materials, only they were different. The buildings and streets seemed to have a sheen and to glow. The entire scene was one of indescribable beauty.

“…There was a feeling of love and peace. On earth there always seems to be something…you know how things bother you here. There’s always some problem troubling you—either it’s health, or money, or people, or war—or something. That was missing there. I felt completely at peace, as if there were no problems which were of concern. It wasn’t that there were no challenges. It’s just that everything seemed to be under control. It was such a wonderful feeling that I never wanted to lose it.

“And there was the feeling of love. Love from…from Jesus Christ. It emanated from Him, and it was all around; it was everywhere.”

ELOISE from Wyoming
“…I remember when I was nine or ten-years-old. I was in bed with rheumatic fever, which I’d had for about three months, and I was very sick. We lived on a corner where there were no lights and no other houses around us. My parents had just taken my brother to the doctor because of something he swallowed, and I was alone and frightened.

“My parents told me to keep the door locked and to say in bed. I was scared and crying, and I remember praying for help. All of a sudden a great light filled the room. Standing there by me in the light was Jesus. He put His hands on my head and I felt this enormous outpouring of love.

“Jesus was all dressed in white, and He was very handsome. His eyes were the most wonderful blue, and there was the most warm, wonderful feeling emanating from Him. I don’t remember Him saying anything—just His hands on my head. It seemed that He was there for a long time, and the room was very bright. Then He left, and the room was dark again.

“When my folks came home, I told them what had happened. And they…you know how parents are, they just sort of patted me on the head and told me to go to sleep. They took me in for a test later that week, though, and all of my tests were absolutely wonderful. The doctor said I was almost completely well.

“…Jesus…His beautiful face, His countenance, His hair….And those wonderful big blue eyes. He had a little beard—and when He put His hands on my head I felt His strength. It was a strength that I felt through my whole body. I’ll never forget the feelings that I had in His presence.

“…His clothes….they covered His arms down to His wrists, and they were open at His neck a little way. They were flowing…and the room was gold and blue and pink. It was radiant….[And] there was…like an aurora coming off of Him. And the feeling. I’ll never forget the feeling of His hands on my head” (Journeys Beyond Life, compiled by Arvin S. Gibson, [Horizon Publishers, 1994], pp. 13-14, 19-20).

(to be continued…)

DEBBIE from Illinois
“Before I joined the Air Force, I had braces on my teeth. In order to be allowed in boot-camp I had to remove the braces….however…after basic training the Air Force [said they] would continue my treatment.

“After my first duty…[a] military dentist on the base…examined me….he scheduled me for cosmetic surgery…to correct a severe overbite problem.

“They flew me to Texas, where the surgery was to take place….

“The doctors were nice to me, and they gave me a complete physical before the operation, which they said would take six hours….

“A number of complications arose during the surgery. They put a tube down me, and that apparently caused severe bleeding in an ulcer in my esophagus. The worst problem, though, was from the anesthetic. It turned out that I was allergic to it, and I went into cardiac arrest during the operation. They were able to restart my heart using resuscitation techniques, but in the process they ruptured my diaphragm.

“While the doctors were having these problems I suddenly felt warmth all around me, and I knew that somebody was holding me. The area I was in was surrounded by light.

“It felt as though I was being cradled by someone, and when I saw all this light, I looked around to see what was happening. As I lifted my head I found myself looking into the eyes of Christ. He was carrying me, as a child would be carried, in a cradling fashion.

“There was no fear and no pain, just a feeling of lightness and security—and I kept staring at Him. He was walking with me; then, strangely, He carried me through a wall, or something, and we went from the light into darkness.

“Christ’s lips never moved, but He communicated with me, and He asked: ‘Do you know where you are? Look around the room.’

“Looking around, as He directed, I saw that we were in the hospital room and He was carrying me toward my body. The darkness frightened me, and I looked back at Christ’s face where there was light. Looking at Him calmed me, and then I noticed that we were again moving toward my body.

“Having a sense that I would have to return to my body, I asked Him repeatedly, ‘Why? Why?’

“In a soothing way He told me that it was not my time yet. While He stood there holding me, I could see my body plainly. But at the same time, I knew I had a semblance of a body, or a spirit body, that Christ was holding. And I could feel His strength while He held me.

“When He went to lay me down into my body, I tried to resist by grabbing at Him. Crying desperately, I kept repeating: ‘Please don’t. I don’t want to go back.’

“Struggling with my emotions, and crying continuously, I asked Him what I must do. He smiled at me and responded: ‘Shhh, everything will be all right.’ My gaze was riveted on Him, and He began backing away.

“Christ was moving slowly in a gentle manner, but, as I cried, I wanted Him to stay and talk to me. He addressed me again, saying: ‘Keep focused—stay focused!’

“Then the light sort of followed Him out of my room. He was gone….

“His hair was long…with a nice wave in it. He was bearded with a smooth face, and His eyes…His eyes were the bluest blue I had ever seen; they were a clear see-through blue. There was warmth, there was love, there was compassion in His eyes. I couldn’t look away from Him….

“There was light all around Him; it actually stood off of Him. It was an energy….

“He understood me, and He loved me—it was a love that I had not felt previously nor have I felt it since, anyplace on earth….

“With Christ, I finally found peace.

“What was [my] other body like? That’s hard to explain, because I was in full body. There were limbs, and I knew Christ was carrying me. But it was without the bulk I had normally felt in my earthly body. I felt light, and I also felt as though I had light around me. When He placed me back in my body, it was as if this light, transparent something was entering a bulky body.

“When [I] saw [my] body….I didn’t want it….

“I didn’t want to leave….

“I was deliriously happy while I was there. I never wanted to return here. Later, when I was back, I was ashamed at the way I clung to Christ and cried while He brought me to my body. It must have been hard on Him to have to return me under those circumstances.

“…In that environment of love, and in my innocence at the time, I was fed up with the world and its mixture of hypocrisy, hate, envy and pain. I still feel that way. My anger at returning to this cruel world spills over at times, and the only relief I get is from prayer. Praying long and hard is my solution” (Journeys Beyond Life, compiled by Arvin S. Gibson, [Horizon Publishers, 1994], pp. 176-181).

(to be continued…)

GEORGE RITCHIE
George Ritchie died in an army hospital ward at the young age of twenty. Nine minutes later, he came back to life. What he experienced during those nine minutes forever changed him. These are his words…

I wasn’t sure when the light in the room began to change; suddenly I was aware that it was brighter, a lot brighter, than it had been. I whirled to look at the night-light on the bedside table. Surely a single 15-watt bulb couldn’t turn out that much light?

I stared in astonishment as the brightness increased, coming from nowhere, seeming to shine everywhere at once. All the light bulbs in the ward couldn’t give off that much light. All the bulbs in the world couldn’t! It was impossibly bright: it was like a million welders’ lamps all blazing at once….‘I’m glad I don’t have physical eyes at this moment,’ I thought. ‘This light would destroy the retina in a tenth of a second.’

No, I corrected myself, not the light.

He.

He would be too bright to look at. For now I saw that it was not light but a Man who had entered the room, or rather, a Man made out of light, though this seemed no more possible to my mind than the incredible intensity of the brightness that made up His form.

The instant I perceived Him, a command formed itself in my mind. ‘Stand up!’ The words came from inside me, yet they had an authority my mere thoughts had never had. I got to my feet, and as I did came the stupendous certainty: ‘You are in the presence of the Son of God.’

Again, the concept seemed to form itself inside me, but not as thought or speculation. It was a kind of knowing, immediate and complete. I knew other facts about Him too. One, that this was the most totally male Being I had ever met. If this was the Son of God, then His name was Jesus. But…this was not the Jesus of my Sunday School books. That Jesus was…probably a little bit of a weakling. This Person was power itself, older than time and yet more modern than anyone I had ever met.

Above all, with that same mysterious inner certainty, I knew that this Man loved me. Far more even than power, what emanated from this Presence was unconditional love. An astonishing love. A love beyond my wildest imagining. This love knew every unlovable thing about me—the quarrels with my stepmother, my explosive temper…every mean, selfish thought and action since the day I was born—and accepted and loved me just the same.

When I say he knew everything about me, this was simply an observable fact. For into that room along with His radiant presence—simultaneously…had also entered every single episode of my entire life. Everything that had ever happened to me was simply there, in full view…all seemingly taking place at that moment….

Every detail of twenty years of living was there to be looked at. The good, the bad, the high points, the run-of-the-mill. And with this all-inclusive view came a question….

“What have you done with your life?….

“It seemed to be a question about values, not facts: what did you accomplish with the precious time you were allotted?….Hadn’t I done anything lasting, anything important? Desperately I looked…for something that would seem worthwhile in the light of this blazing Reality.

It wasn’t that there were spectacular sins….Only an endless, shortsighted, clamorous concern for myself. Hadn’t I ever gone beyond my own immediate interests, done anything other people would recognize as valuable? At last I located it, the proudest moment of my life:

“I became an Eagle Scout!”

Again words seemed to emanate from the Presence beside me:

That glorified you.

It was true….Me, me, me—always in the center. Wasn’t there any time in my life when I had let someone else stand there?….

And all at once rage at the question itself built up in me. It wasn’t fair! Of course I hadn’t done anything with my life! I hadn’t had time. How could you judge a person who hadn’t started?

The answering thought, however, held no trace of judgment. Death, the word was infinitely loving, [death] can come at any age.

Well, sure. I knew that babies and little kids died. Somehow I had just always assumed that a full life span was in some way owed me….

[Finally]…I realized that it was I who was judging the events around us so harshly….No such condemnation came from the Glory shining round me. He was not blaming or reproaching. He was simply…loving me.  Filling the world with Himself and yet somehow attending to me personally….

What have you done with your life to show Me?

…in my…frantic efforts to come up with an impressive answer, I had missed the point….He wasn’t asking about accomplishments and awards.

The question, like everything else proceeding from Him, had to do with love. How much have you loved with your life? Have you loved others as I am loving you? Totally? Unconditionally?

….Why, I hadn’t known love like this was possible. Someone should have told me….A fine time to discover what life was all about—like coming to a final exam and discovering you were going to be tested on a subject you had never studied. If this was the point of everything, why hadn’t someone told me?….

I did tell you.

But how? Still wanting to justify myself: how could He have told me and I not heard?

I told you by the life I lived. I told you by the death I died. And, if you keep your eyes on Me, you will see more” (George G. Ritchie with Elizabeth Sherrill, Return from Tomorrow, Fleming H. Revell Co.: Old Tappan, New Jersey, pp. 48-50, 52-55).

(to be continued…)